Monday was family picture day. Well, just the kids, I wasn’t really up for the entire group shot. I had these grand visions as to how these would turn out. I could just see these little, angelic faces, perfectly posed, adorably dressed, in this beautiful, serene backdrop. The only thing I can’t figure out right this second is, when will I learn?

Our appointment was at 6:30 p.m. so my husband could attend after work. I made sure they were all bathed, nicely attired, hair fixed, the whole nine yards. Of course, before we left the house, Deacon had found a glass of red juice and poured it down the front of him. He ended up in outfit “B.” The rest looked somewhat presentable, so we headed to the studio.

We had to wait a few minutes while they finished with the last customer, which can only mean one thing to my kids: time to go nuts. They were running around, fighting over who sat in what chair, screaming, and being enormous pains in the butt. Finally, we go back for the pictures.

Any other day, Deacon is the biggest camera ham in the world. He will flash this million dollar smile and flirt for you, but today, he decided not to participate. The photographer tried sitting them all together on the floor. Deacon screamed “No!” and “Stop it!” at her. Olivia made these horrid, pained, expressions and kept showing her underwear to everyone. Matthew tried holding Deacon on his lap, but instead Deke turned around and tackled him to the ground. Realize, Deacon is 2 and all of 35 pounds. Matthew is 8, almost as tall as me (and I’m 5′10) and about 120 pounds. He’s gigantic, but Deacon took him down.

The photographer was very nice about the whole thing, and tried everything she could. We put them on a bench, but Deke wouldn’t allow anyone to sit with him. In the end, we may have 1 decent picture that was snapped in between the bloodshed, but I’m not sure. We tried a few without Deacon, and Sarah had some on her own. I will probably post the final results when I get them.

In summary, I think I’ve decided to stick with my own snapshots until they are old enough to reason with. Otherwise, someone may not survive another studio session.

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Posted in Holidays, Katie has lost her mind | 4 Comments » | 10 views

Turkey day knocked me out. In all seriousness, I still haven’t recovered and Christmas is just around the corner! Ah well, c’est la vie! Let me just fill you in on our holiday.

My hubby and I (mostly him, believe it or not) cooked some amazing dishes to contribute to the Thanksgiving soirée. My macaroni and cheese recipe is now known throughout the land, and who would have thought that “asparagus casserole” would have been such a hit? Keep in mind the directions for this creation are as follows:

1. asparagus (fresh or canned)
2. Velvetta
3. boiled eggs, sliced
4. a little cornstarch to thicken
5. repeat layers and bake until brown on top

It sounds like an artery clogger to me but everyone went nuts over it! I won’t claim the recipe either, it’s my mother in law’s, but my husband is convinced it must be served for all major holidays.

Anyways, the meal was great and the compliments never stopped. We took a total of 6, excellent dishes. The time with family was wonderful and, thanks to “Chinet”, clean up was simple! The real fun started when my Mom shanghaied me for an auction.

No, we weren’t having one, we were going to one. I have never been to an auction in my life, nor was I prepared for it. This thing was held in a garage decorated with all types of redneck memorabilia. We actually sat there making a list of all the wonders while the toothless woman and man with the mullet sang gospel music. (No, I’m not making fun!) It seems these folks (of which I’m one) love them some John Wayne, Marylin Monroe, tractors, guns, the Civil War, and Dale Earnhardt. My Mom and I couldn’t look at each other and keep a straight face.

Then the actual bidding began. We had not a clue as to how this worked. They did have prize drawings every 30 minutes, so we were in. The flier said “A chance to win $200″, so we made the decision should any of us win the $200, we call it a night and hit the road. Well, my friends, fate is a cruel and ironic thing. My Mom won the first drawing. She jumps up yelling “This is the best day of my life!” She then runs to the front, hugs the auctioneer and realizes the $200 was divided into 8, separate drawings. My Mom actually collected $25. Still, it was enough to get her hooked. She starting bidding on everything from socks to “YMC Apes”. It was hilarious.

The next drawing rolls around. There are 2 items up for grabs: a new gas grill or an inflatable, Christmas lawn decoration. They call the number: it’s me! I hear an angry voice behind us say, “You gotta be kidding me!” Of course, you know which of these prizes I won, right? Yep, the blow up Santa and chimney for the yard. I’m still psyched about it, but decide it’s time to collect our treasures and go before the locals accuse of rigging the drawings and mount us on the wall like the many relatives of Bambi I see there. I grab my Santa, socks and apes and hit the road!

All in all, we had a great holiday. I may expand on the evils of “Black Friday” shopping tomorrow, but for now I’m hitting the bed! We have family pictures tomorrow at 2 and I need to sleep off these black bags.

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Posted in Holidays, Katie has lost her mind, Simply Katie | No Comments » | 6 views

My husband found this interesting ad about how soon was too soon for your baby to have soda. I thought it was rather humorous considering how hard we try to keep our kids off things like this now. The ad claims having soda early in life helps children have a better chance of “fitting in during those awkward pre-teen years”. I’m just wondering, did people seriously believe this? Maybe this is why 50% or so of our population is obese!

I’ll be honest with you, I am addicted to caffeine and sodas. I have tried to break the habit numerous times. I’m really good at starting a diet, getting completely into it, being healthy, then slipping and not going back. I need to lose a few pounds. I mean, I have 4 kids: it’s hard to gain 30-40 pounds, lose 20, have another baby 2 years later (repeat 2X) and not have a little extra weight! It is especially hard to exercise these days with an 8, 6, 4, and 2 year-old around!

My New Year’s resolution is to be healthier. I usually think these things are stupid because no one actually keeps them, but I hope I can. My kids need me healthier and I want them to grow up eating well. Not that I don’t try to do that now, I make great efforts not to give my kids junk and tons of sugar. They play outside every day. I don’t let them sit and play video games or watch TV in excess. I guess they have a good start, maybe cutting out all junk food won’t be too much of a shock and they won’t revolt. At least, I hope they won’t. They do out-number me, even if they are smaller.

Anyways, do you have resolutions already? Are you as bad as me about keeping them?

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Posted in Holidays, Simply Katie, Weirdness | 4 Comments » | 28 views

So the holidays are upon us once again. I have already started prepping myself for the parties, presents and decorations to come. I found the coolest “retro” decorations at Target the other day. Now the kids have shiny wreaths and trees for their rooms and are so excited! I also found the rosemary “trees” I have been hunting since last year and potted them beside the front door. I even have tiny ornaments and lights for them!

Needless to say, I’m in the Christmas spirit. I made the kids an appointment for Christmas pictures, started gift planning and am sorting through recipes for our holiday entertaining. (I know, I’m obsessed, right?) Everything was looking good until I hit a wall. What to get the kids from Santa?

The wrapped gifts from Mommy and Daddy are easy; I just watch what they are into at the store. Sarah found a faux fur vest, Matthew loves Hot Wheels, Olivia has become a huge Barbie fan. The problem is, Santa usually leaves one big present and one small one. (Plus stockings and misc. other) This year, my kids are either giving me enormous things they want (i.e. go carts, Escalades, outdoor play equipment, etc.) or tons of little “junky”  things.

I don’t know how much I like my 8 year old cruising around in something with a motor. A go cart sounds fun, but I’m still concerned with safety, even with seat belts, a roll cage and helmet. Sarah saw this “Butterscotch” pony that she adores. It was on sale for $225! You would think for that kind of money it would get up and walk you around the yard, but no. It “eats” a play carrot, blinks it’s eyes, shakes it’s head, and makes “realistic walking sounds”. Walking sounds? Are you kidding?! I tried to explain this to my daughter but she let me know “Butterscotch” would make a perfect addition to the playhouse they want Santa to put in their room. I guess he can graze in the adjoining pasture area or something.

As of right now, I have no clue as to what Santa will bring. I’m hoping they will give me some other ideas very soon or they may be disappointed when they don’t receive ponies and cars! What happened to the good old days when you received a doll and some candy and were totally thrilled? Yeah, I don’t remember that either, but maybe someone does. Any ideas as to what I can get the kids?

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Posted in Holidays, Katie has lost her mind | 1 Comment » | 17 views

Ok folks, I have a major dilemma. As many of you know, I’m a neat freak. I can’t stand for the house to be a mess, even though it often is. I don’t like things out of place or dirty. This tends to be a constant issue considering I have 4 kids, 8 and under, and a messy husband that seems to be completely oblivious to the disasters he creates.

My eldest child, Matthew, inherited this gene. He is just naturally clean. Ever since he was small, he kept his room spotless. I’m not joking here. I automatically assumed that all my children would do the same. (Sorry, I had to stop and laugh for a minute) Sadly, this is not the case. When Sarah came along, I quickly learned that every child is different. These 2 are like night and day.

Let me just say this: Sarah is an exceptionally beautiful child, (and I don’t just say that because I’m partial) she’s highly intelligent, tough, and has fear of practically nothing. This is the same child who we caught climbing around the roof of our house after she had escaped through her window. When I told her she could have killed herself, she simply responded with “Ah no, Mommy, I won’t get hurt” My girl is rough and tumble through and through. I feel so sorry for any man that falls for her, she will chew them up and spit them out. Well, she will once I let her date at 30 or so.

Anyways, there is one big problem with Sarah: she is a total slob. Now before you send me some horribly nasty comment realize this: I have tried everything under the sun to help her keep her room clean and I have taken into account that she’s a kid. Yes, I know children are messy. I was the world’s worst about stashing dirty clothes in any open space my room had just so I wouldn’t have to walk them across the hall to the hamper. In that aspect, I suppose she gets it honestly. On the other hand, I can’t let her get away with it and neither did my parents.

I have taken away toys, priveleges and anything else I thought might get through her head to no avail. As of today, her room looks like a bomb went off and she has made no attempt to pick up anything! What should I do? Does anyone have a creative solution to my problem?

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Posted in Katie has lost her mind, Simply Katie | 3 Comments » | 26 views

“We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams”
- Gene Wilder, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

What did you want to be as a child? I had 2 things: one practical, one not so practical. That’s pretty much the story of my life. I always see both sides of the story, I can sympathize with both parties and I tend to follow my head instead of my heart.

When I was little I loved animals of all kinds. Well, all of them except snakes. I still hate them. I decided I wanted to be a veterinarian. That way I could save all the critters I loved so much. That was my practical dream. I knew that was something I might actually be able to do some day. I told everyone that’s what I would be.

The less practical dream was to be an actress. I loved watching movies. I loved the costumes, the drama, the fame. I wanted to be the women in those movies. I would get my stuffed animals together for productions and then practice my Academy Awards speech. Hey, at least I had high hopes, right?

Fate it seems, did not see things the way I did. Suffice it to say, I am neither a veterinarian nor an actress. (Even though my husband would argue that I’m quite the drama queen at times!) I went to college with every intention of becoming a vet only to realize that maybe that wasn’t what I should do. I stink at Biology. I’m easily discouraged. I don’t particularly like dissecting things. I changed my major to English.

In the end, I became the most important thing I could be: a wife and Mom. I get far more love and recognition from my family than I would have from a kitten or puppy. Sure, I still love animals. I’d be the first person to pick up a stray and welcome it home. I’ll just leave the doctor stuff to the professionals.

Now I focus on what my kids want to be. I see glimpses of things in them and I wonder where it will go. Will Matthew’s love of writing and his creativity lead him to publish novels? Will Sarah’s headstrong nature and insane good looks make her a great leader? How about Deacon’s strength and Olivia’s sense of humor? Who knows? All I do know is, I look forward to seeing them become the great people they are destined to be, no matter where that path leads. I will miss the babies they once were and all those little things I take for granted now. I just hope, in some small way, I inspire them. I may never have become Dr. Doolittle or the next big star, but I hope they know: I did it all for them. Every day I make pancakes and skip sleeping in, or do without that new outfit so they can have the new toy they’ve been talking so much about: I do it because I could never love anything more in this life than them. Forget dream jobs, they don’t have the kinds of benefits I get here.

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Posted in Simply Katie | 1 Comment » | 9 views